ROBOGEISHA

Not for the weak of heart(or stomach), this is incredible. But seriously, watch it. It's only been about 20 seconds since I've seen it, but I think it's changed my life forever.

Hand-held Signs

Here are some great ones from my internet adventures! If you're a junkie like me, you've probably seen most of them already. Oh well.

I like this guy, I think he's my kind of crusty old man.

Right on, brother!

Honesty can sometimes be the best policy:

Then again, this is kind of awesome.

This is amazing.

Okay, so it's not hand-held. Still awesome.

Damn, that is one excited kid.

I debated putting this one in because it is EVERYWHERE, but I love it so here it is.

Does that work?

You show them, buddy!

Me, too.

Advertising at its most sophisticated

I'm not sure how many people know this, but I'm not a TV person. In fact, I'm not entirely sure how to operate my TV. Which is not to say I don't make full use of hulu, but I digress. My point is, I miss out on some things which other people are completely sick of. Namely, ads.

And then, I go to the laundromat.

This isn't very interesting, but basically, I just want to take a moment to appreciate the new Pizza Hut slogan.

I'm sorry, let's look at that again.

Good one, Pizza Hut. 

And how high is your budget?

I'm personally insulted that they paid some crackhead to do this when there were potentially hundreds of highly trained communication designers who apparantly...didn't make the cut?

What?!

Okay, maybe I'm being unfair.

No, I don't think so. Or if I am I don't really care. Because this is stupid. It's like, nice observation. Did this take a lot of deductive reasoning? Of course I'm eating. You just handed me a pizza. 

I get that America is stupid. And fat. I really, really do. But come on, Pizza Hut.

YAY ROBIN!

Congratulations to my baby sister, the amazing Robin Irene, who will next year be joining me in the big city when she matriculates at NYU!!! WOOHOO!!!

Dude this is going to be epic. 

Twilight, where it's really dramatic, yet anticlimactic.

This is Twilight, told in screenshots. One thing I'll give it is it stays really true to the book. So basically a lot of eye shots and sexual tension. And it's pretty redundant.

"I'm Bella. Why doesn't anyone like me. I'm so standoffish and I have no friends. Basically I'm a hollywood starlet in a character based on the mentality of a fat girl."

"I love you Bella"

"No, I love you, Bella!"

All the cool kids hang out in the parking lot. 

"I'm in love with you too, Bella. Sorry bout that."

Reeeal subtle.

"I'm standing in front of a fan so you can smell me more easily. Is it working? Tell me when it starts working."

Vampires are young, thin and attractive. They're basically hollywood. Nice.

Look, it's Cedric Diggory! You know, minus the melanin.

"Let's look at each other sorrowfully."

"Yes. That is an excellent idea."

"Hang out with you? Nah, I'd rather stand awkwardly next to my car and read a romance novel"

"SO, I am going to leave dramatically now, because I'm a vampire and I need to control myself so I don't murder you horribly."

"Wait, no I think I'll stick around."

"Look I'm all sparkly! And you can customize me with belly jewels."

"It's so hot when boys abduct me into the woods. Yeah, manhandle me!"

"Hey, if you're chill with the fact that I'm basically the oldest man you've ever met, I'm chill with your general lack of facial expression!"

"Actually, my skin is off-white, I think it's called eggshell. What's probably throwing you off is the fact that my neck has normal pigmentation."

"So you're chill with the whole me wanting to eat you thing, right?"

"I like to watch you sleep. That's normal, right?"

"Wow, I'm so turned on at the revelation that you sneak into my room at night and watch me sleep. That's so incredibly not creepy."

Apparently, turning into a vampire is strangely homoerotic.

Aaand sexual tension.

"I'm a 400 year old virgin. So let's just stand really close to each other and stare."

Yeah there's more but I couldn't finish it. Sorry.

What a time we live in.

This is a twitter record of graduation. No, I did not graduate.

Man what?

How do people even think of this stuff?!

Dreams of Flying

Side note: excuse me for being all artisty on this. Sorry if I come across as pretentious or if you think I don't know what I'm talking about. I welcome other views.

German photographer Jan Von Holleben's series, 'Dreams of Flying' features nordic children against constructed floors which look like a backdrop. Whimsical without being overly cutesy, this series is by far the most impressive on his site, but feel free to disagree. I love these though-they are at once childish, meticulous, and immaterial. They speak about so much more than a childhood fantasy. The flatness of the series works with the presentation of the frames, but unfortunately Von Holleben fails to introduce a more dynamic compositional element in his other series. Here's hoping someone steers him in the right direction, and that this is more than just a single lucky good idea well executed-that there's more on the way, and that Van Holleben grows in the right direction. Overall, though, I really really love this. And I'm excited to see what comes next.

The inclusion of the dog makes this one for me.

The wooden boards add that primitive feeling-the contrast with the green props makes this photo so striking.

This is my personal favorite. I love how he constructs his sets with objects you'd never think of, and that the resulting scenes are clean, easy to read, and incredibly simple. It recalls any number of games a kid might play using things that adults so often overlook. Von Hollenben reminds us-everything is a toy.

The charm in this for me is the tiny scenes of miniature people. The juxtaposition with the actual people makes this work where his 'superlandscapes' fall short. No Pun intended.

This is the most whimsical and I love the leafblowers on the leafy ground, the halloween ghost, the pop culture reference...this makes me happy. It's just smart, and I love smart.

I wonder if people would have freaked if godzilla were just a giant kid. Rick Moranis failed to answer this question.

Again, his simplest works are the best. The dull ground and the kids' glowing skin and technicolor dream suits make it pop in a way that's just so reminiscent of about a million advertisements, but it's so much better when it doesn't try to sell you anything, don't you think?

The secret behind the magic carpet!

I love the chaos of this piece, how he manages that illusion while sticking to his on-the-ground setup, and how he makes it seem that they're in motion without actually overlapping anything. The slight angle is so subtle but does so much.

Yarr!

Living squarely on the testicles

Found here

Also, just found this. Kinda really makes me wish I had cable. Oh, well. I don't really know how to work my TV anyway.

Sexy Speakers

Isn't this genius? Found here.

From 2006

I found this buried in my facebook photo albums. It's a photo of my old ecology teacher from sophomore year and the ridiculous things she said, but this is just from the first class. I would literally just write down hilarious stuff. Anyway, here we go.

"Molecules operate in three dimensions, why shouldn't you?"

"He said he was Greek, only he was Macedonian and never got over it."

"If I were God, I woulda done it simpler."

"This period of confluenzia really was magnificent; it died."

"He latinized his name, anyone who was anyone did."

"If you were a heretic, and didn't renounce your evil ways, you were barbequed."

"Which is further proof that some people should not be taught to read because it's bad for them."

"Every age has an ultimate weapon. So ours happens to go boom- so what?"

"Galileo: What else can I find that's disturbing?"

"Hot Damn!"

"Vernal equinox- what the hell is that?"

"The days are getting shorter, what is this all about?"

"Crochets and weirdeties"

(on Prague) "Cute buildings with little pointed roofs."

"The ancient Egyptians sure knew how to party."

"What keeps the moon from slamming into the earth?"

"Newton was a crab."

"I'm not bad at deciphering heiroglyphics, but give me a break."

"My father didn't have much to give; he left me his cough."

"[Medieval people thought that] This veil of tears will pass, and I will sit around strumming a harp. For people like me, who have no musical talent, this isn't such a good prospect."

"St. Francis never took a bath or changed his habit- he must have been fun to be around."

"God went on to do other useful things..."

"Kickoff date for life on earth: This happened on a sunday afternoon at teatime."

"God: ZAPS! You're a cockaroach."

"The air above- created on day two, I think."

"Primordial- that's a fun word."

"What if I take this unholy mix of stuff and ZATS it?"

"Benjamin Franklin- remember the guy with the kite?"

"Meteorites come in two delicious flavors."

"Tortuous mix of god-awfuls"

"Multi-cellular organisms: a lot of them looked extremely odd."

"Charles II of Spain died in 1699- and not a moment too soon. He was a biological disaster."

"Aristotle got around."

"If they're fishermen, bet your bottom petunia they're bringing home fish."

Yeah, so if you're ever at pratt take Professor Charton for ecology. The END.

Poll. Also, tats!

I just want to encourage everyone to vote on the poll on the left side of the blog. Basically it's just asking what kind of post you prefer, so that I can try to give you your favorites! You can vote as many times as you want for as many different options as you want. And if you have an answer that isn't there feel free to shoot me an email or a comment or whatever.
And so this is not a blatantly self serving post, here are a few funny pictures of ridiculous tattoos, which I have found on the internet in various places.

SO badass:

This is just genius.

This is a photoshop, but I love it anyway.

Wolverine riding my little pony. Nice.

Another hilarious photoshop.

Tramp stamp:

This is just awesome, even though it's in the 'target' position.

Good one, genius.

Can you imagine waiting while they filled in your belly button? Also, wtf.

'This is your brain on drugs.' Also, 'This is your scalp on ink'

These belly button anus things continue to amaze me.

This is clever and hilarious, while also being retarded.

This is great. Well done sir. Now you can have thee 'staches!

I know this Snuggie thing is way overdone...

but this tickled my funny bone. It's well done and hilarious.
My favorite moment is: Mom? Dad?

Old Stuff

I was going through my old files, backing them up to make room on my hard drive, when I came across this gem. It's a stop-motion movie from my 4D Design class, freshman year. 

Here's the plot, because it might be hard for you to tell. I'm eating fruit, so all the food in my fridge is outraged. They escape and a tomato spurs them into glorious revolution. Then they are free so they do a happy dance.

There are some fun moments where you see my face or a roll of masking tape, but I think the whole thing is pretty awesome.

My Little Pony

I used to love My Little Pony, and I just came across these redesigns here. They're My Little pony as film characters and personalities, selling for about 300 british bounds a pop. They're pretty amazing.

Batman and Robin


Beatrix Kiddo


If you can't figure this one out you don't deserve to know.


Of course, Elvis is a unicorn!


Princess Leia


Why so serious?

No...just...no.

As you may remember, my five-part christmas list was both informative and hilarious. And even at this time of year, I set products aside for that inevitable time when it will be time to buy gifts again.
But this...this could not wait. It's too wrong. Too...epic and hilarious and wrong to not share immediately.
Don't get all offended people...although I think that might be the idea. So...yeah.
Head O State

I reiterate, I know this is really really wrong. I can't stop laughing though.

Plural wisdom

David Griswold explained this to me ages ago and I just got him to reiterate. I don't know why I find it so fascinating...I guess I'm putting it here because of my comment meters and so you'll get the joke.
OFFICIALLY, octopus should not be pluralized octopi because the "-us" -> "-i" is from the latin whereas octopus is a greek word
meaning eight-footed, because "pus" is greek for foot; the plural of "pus" is "poda".
So you would say "octopoda" in greek. However, in English we use that for talking about multiple species of octopus and we pluralize octopus as octopuses.
However, because everybody got it wrong for so long, the OED has officially added octopi as an acceptable pluralization

That's what she said.

This is a classic example of why collage is better than high school. Just the other day I was in class during a crit and the professor said something like, just rub it a little bit, and I'm all, that's what she said! And everyone laughed and then we moved on. I think it added much needed comic relief to a long boring crit. Crits should be fun! Teachers in high school are mean (no offense David). 

David's Response:
the thing to realize about that detention notice is the teacher is probably correct; considering the average high schooler, that was probably the 15th time he said it in THAT CLASS PERIOD.
once is funny.
twice is silly.
15 times is disruptive.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

To my amazing beautiful genius sister for:

1. 

2.

3. Being crowned Ms. WJ*!!

*Anyone with pertinent photos or video footage of Ms. WJ needs to contact me ASAP.

The Beautiful Photoshops of Erik Johansson

Erik Johansson is a swedish student/interactive designer/computer engineer/photographer. I usually try not to post industry stuff on here because I know a lot of the people who read this aren't actually designers or artists, but I think this will be appreciated by all.

His work has an amazing combination of silliness, high art, couture, and nordic awesomeness. I also love how he models for himself. I have a feeling we are going to be seeing a lot more of Mr. Johansson in the future. He has already done some advertising work, and I can't wait for it to be released!

The Being a Jerk Method

The Being a Jerk Method -- powered by Cracked.com

Hyena Family

I've been looking through Pieter Hugo's photography and found this gem.

There are many photos of this man and his trained hyenas and baboons, two of the most notoriously wild and sinister species out there. This picture, however, is completely insane.

Mummy Ahmadu, the man, has removed the hyena's muzzle, placed a small girl child on its back, lets the leash lay on the ground, and then reaches inside the hyena's mouth, a move which can only be intended to infuriate the animal. 

This man is either very brave or very stupid. Or both. He is a hyena trainer.

Actual Book

Because the only way an alien would be scarier is if it were invincible, borne of a Kryptonian solar plexus.

Due to complaints on my lack of postage

I have gotten a twitter. I only post gold on here because I don't want to overpost. On twitter, however, the idea seems to be that you should be as non sequitor and brief as possible.
I don't know how to embed it yet...let me know if you do. Anyway, here's the link.

Election 2008...bollywood style!

McCain and Palin Campaign Bollywood Music Video Style! - watch more funny videos

The Christmas List, Part VI

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V

So, Survey is over. Here is some stuff I've been saving.

For the productive paper lover

For the techie who needs their breakfast

For the romantic electrician

For the hungry typist

For the viking with deficiencies

For the guy who needs a boost...of confidence

For the blinged out goth

For the chocoholic wordsmith

For the Mensa Gourmet

For the brunching serial killer

For the lying seamstress

For the niche stripper

For the most awesome coffee drinker EVER

For the Trekkie who can't wait

For the hungry Sith

For the baby who can't run

For the egomaniacal Lego freak

For the computer addict who needs an excuse to wear pants

For the rock star in your pocket

For the serious underachiever

For the Master Griller

For the internet surfing chef

For the love of your life, who needs protection

For the thrill enthusiast who really wants to indulge their bulimia

For the Juvenile Delinquent in training

For anyone with low self esteem and a taste for the stage

For your Japanese buddy

For the recently deceased, but always ostentatious

For the person who, literally, has everything.

For the pet owner with issues

The Christmas List, Part V

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV
I hope people are enjoying these, I haven't received any feedback. But I think I would like them so here goes! Of course, I am actively embarking on that wonderful journey known as Survey, so I may be a bit...incommunicado for the the next couple of weeks. Or hell, maybe I'll need a break! Who knows.
In any case, I have tried to traverse etsy.com for this edition. It's a site for people who handmake items to sell them. Some are very nice, and others are downright strange. I was coming up with the labels, but what came to mind for most of them was decidedly serial-killer, autistic, or just blind.
Some of the other labels are a bit wimpy. Sorry about that.

For the layer-happy coffee drinker


For the tea party enthusiast with a taste for danger


For the much-plagued assistant


For the pretentious chain smoker


For the pyromaniacal wine connoisseur


For the self-medicated billionaire

For the Londoner with big, big hair


For those content being chronically late


For the retired world traveler


For the dishwasher with whimsy

For the chef with contact lenses

For the acquaintance who throws all those parties


For the chronic snitcher


For those itching for a food fight


For the engineer with a taste for the finer things in life


For the skinny alcoholic

Or the surfer alchoholic


For the perverse paper folder


For the aspiring gangster


For the decidedly offbeat fetishist


For the mother-to-be with unseemly cravings


For the stylish serial killer


For the serial killer in need of a purse


For the blind art collector


For the obese child


For the detective who doesn't mind human trafficking


For the fish lover with an eye for sculpture


For the misogynist who's always breaking things


For the expecting parents

For those potty training the poopy-handed


For the sailor with a sense of danger


For the sniffer who can never find the right scent


For the nudist with a sense of decorum


For the pooper with ADD


For the clean freak without q-tips (is that even possible?)


Or the clean freak with only one soap dish

The Christmas List, Part IV

Part I, Part II, Part III

As we all know, Black Friday was yesterday. This marks the start of official Christmas shopping season. So step up your game!
I've been working overtime to bring you even more amazing gifts for the people who don't have everything, but are incredibly peculiar. Or something. I tried to include some more books, and a few things maybe more in peoples price ranges. Enjoy.

For the aesthetic biologist with a low-functioning heater

For the bootylicious pop star who insured their gloots

For the homeless musician

For the guy who keeps joking about eating turds

For the deviant who's always wanted to explore the wonderful world of Vore...
(Diclaimer for the above: if you don't know, you DON'T WANT TO. TRUST ME. The label not the product. The product is rated G)

For the Christian who always wanted a menorah
...just make sure you don't give them this one too.

For the person who always misses their sea monkeys this time of year

For the coolest frakking person ever



For the survivor with a sweet tooth

For that child of the eighties who still has the beat

For the perpetually single and potentially bitter

For the couple who really should get a room, but never does

For the caffeine-riddled, the serotonin-deprived, or just the cynics

For the gourmet macabre muncher

For the bigwig fishing for gold diggers

For the chef with a cuddly side...or a spooky preoccupation, depending how you look at it.

For the chronically absent

For the wannabe taxidermist with a bad back

For the puppeteer with allergies

For the drinker with priapism

For the cowboy who can't have shape pancakes every day, goddammit

For the grandmother with a sense of humor

A Great Ad

Most banner ads are just ridiculous. You ignore them. But once in a while, one tickles you. I forget where I found this, but it cracked me up for some reason.

The Christmas List, Part III

Part I, Part II

Okay, here are some more FABULOUS gift ideas for some more of those strange demographics in your life.

For the color-blind golfer

For the practical joker who hopefully knows CPR

For the well-dressed construction worker

For the camper with penis envy

For the astrologically minded masturbator

For the holiday spirited masturbator...or your clueless great aunt who loves memorabilia

For the guy who only pretends to live dangerously

For the carnivorous music lover

For the moving herpetologist

For the impromptu costume partygoer, or more appropriately, thrower

For the gourmet snacker

For your favorite neighborhood pedophile

For whoever needs some brain food

For the pomeranian with ADD

For the design-savvy spiller

For the graphic artist who loves their coffee table

For the Jedi with a sense of humor...good luck with that.

For the awesomest terrifying awesome person to put in their foyer

For the penis with issues

For the decidedly unhygienic nymphomaniac